My MIL thinks it's appropriate to put my son on the Atkins diet whenever it's her turn to watch him. Lately, for the past few Sundays since Nora's been working, hubby and I will drop off Ethan for a few hours at the in-laws and go out for dinner on our own. It's been good for us to have date night while we still can, and it gives the in-laws a chance to spend time with him.
When we drop him off, hubby will give his mom explicit instructions (from me) on what to give him in terms of food, but in every instance, she has gone against our wishes, giving him Chinese soup, more meat than he usually eats, and the worst? Being sneaky about it. Typically, his meals consist of three parts carbs, two parts veggies, and one part meat/protein, which is what the health center recommends for his diet. Her idea of a complete meal is three parts meat, almost no carbs, some veggies, and lots of Chinese soup, which fills him up too much and prevents him from having his milk at night. It's a good thing that we have Nora to report on what he was actually given, and even she fights my MIL on what she should be giving him. The last straw was when Nora told me that my MIL yelled at her for snitching on her. And then there's the whole, "I raised you and this is how you treat me?" attitude towards hubby whenever he reprimands her for not listening to our wishes.
I just don't trust her anymore, and while my first inclination is to stop dropping him off, I'm torn because Ethan should spend time with his grandparents before we move back to the States. The ironic thing is that I'm the one always initiating visits with the grandparents. I'm so tired of having to battle with my MIL on his diet, his sleeping schedule, his intake of three languages, his watching TV, etc. I fear that at some point, I'm really going to lose it with her, and I feel like it's going to happen very soon.
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In response to Erin's comment, hubby and I were hoping to eventually let his parents watch him more often once Moo Moo arrives to make sure that he's getting enough attention and distraction. We're not sure how Ethan will react to the new baby, and we want to make sure he's not neglected. It's really the principle behind the fact that my MIL dismisses our wishes and thinks that she knows what's right for Ethan because she's raised three kids successfully that makes me the most angry because at the end of the day, Ethan is my son, not hers.
Her attitude is, 'Let me take him out to lunch. So what if he skips his nap. He's just having fun.' Meanwhile, I have to deal with the consequences of disrupting his routine. My FIL was taking his prescription pills one day in front of Ethan and said to him, 'Look, Grandpa's eating candy!' I could go on and on...They say that with the arrival of the new baby, make sure you accept all types of support to help you along. How do I look to them for support?
2 comments:
While I don't agree with her not following your wishes and sympathize with your annoyance... (my MIL does similar things), does he see them often enough for it to be a big deal if he doesn't eat exactly the right ratios of food groups when he's there? I always leave my kids knowing my requests will more than likely be ignored, but I figure they are there four times a month... what happens at grandmom's stays at grandmoms. LOL. I just try not to think about it. I mean, if they were doing something that was actually DANGEROUS, I'd fight the battle, but I just don't think it's worth it for stuff like eating... just my thoughts. :)
Ahh... well in that case, I'd be trying to straighten them out too. See, I don't depend on my inlaws for much more than just two=hours stretches of babysitting here and there. (mostly for this reason)_ Simon's always already had his nap (or it's not naptime yet) and I even send him with a totally fresh diaper because my MIL can't be trusted to change a diaper unless it's poopy. MIL used to piss me off to no end when Ben was a baby because he took a pacifier and she didn't agree with that. He's cry and cry and still be crying when I got back... I'd say, "the pacifier is in his bag." And she's reply, "OH.... silly me, I didn't think to look there." So yeah, I DO sympathize. I am the mom... even if what I say to do seems silly to you, you should just follow my wishes. I guess now, I just try to pick my battles...
With YOUR MIL? I think I'd leave a detailed checklist and INSIST that she check things off as she goes along.... and if you have to, say (as politely as possible... heh) that if things aren't done the right way, he won't be coming over. There has to be a way to put that without it sounding threatening... just can't think of it right now. LOL!
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